Thriving Through Transition
I was once told that the best way to ride a roller coaster was to relax and allow your body to move with the motion of the car. Soon after I heard that advice, I had a chance to try it out… at Space Mountain, a ride at Disneyland where the roller coaster is in almost complete darkness with only a few artificial stars gleaming above. It can be unnerving being thrown around in a roller coaster car not knowing what direction the next turn is because there is no way to prepare for what’s coming. I found that if I did allow myself to relax, let go of my need to know what was coming up next and go with the motion of the car, that the ride was exhilarating!
There is a lot of similarity between riding a roller coaster in the dark, and navigating our world these days. Many have found their lives irrevocably altered, and as they strive to reinvent themselves and rebuild their lives, they find it’s much like riding a roller coaster in the dark.
Whether you are dealing with huge changes or small ones, knowing a few ways to deal gracefully with uncertainty can be very helpful. Let me share some strategies that have helped me throughout my life:
Remember to relax while riding the roller coaster: While it doesn’t seem natural to try to relax while life seems to be tossing you all around and you have no idea what is coming next, in fact, it’s the best thing you can do. When faced with change, if we tense up and get rigid then we are less able to navigate the quick changes of direction, but practices like meditation, tapping or walks in nature can help you relax and quiet your mind.
Allow yourself a laughter break: Whether you prefer a movie or a comedian, laughter can be great medicine during times of change. Laughter can be a balm for the stressed nerves. I’m not suggesting that you avoid your responsibilities, but taking a much-needed break for some belly laughs, can be restorative.
Learn how to improvise by mastering the basics: If you have ever watched a great musician improvise, you know that there are many years of study and practice behind what appears to be an effortless flow of notes. But years of study alone won’t create a great improvisor unless they learn how to be fully in the present moment. If a musician is worrying about how they did in their last gig (the past) or about how this performance will go (the future), they will lose their ability to simply allow the notes to flow. Being able to be in the moment is absolutely necessary to improvisation.
When you are learning how to improvise in life, you are discovering the basic skill of being present in the moment. It is that skill, when mastered, that allows you to navigate life with the ability to make quick decisions, to change direction and to simply appreciate the joy of now.
Use your imagination to create the next phase of your life: We are often chastised in school for daydreaming, but our imagination is one of the most powerful tools that we have to create change in our lives and deal with uncertainty. When faced with the most horrible conditions imaginable in the concentration camps of WWII, Viktor Frankl, Austrian neurologist and psychiatrist, used his imagination to continuously envisioned himself dressed in a suit, addressing a large crowd, speaking on surviving the death camps. His vision eventually became a reality. He writes of his experience in his book Man’s Search for Meaning. Your present challenges are likely not as daunting as Frankl’s, but the lesson of his example is a powerful one. Begin now to use your imagination to envision the future that you wish to live into, no matter how improbable it might seem in the present moment. Time spent in your imagination envisioning your desired future, is time well spent.
Ask your dreams for guidance: As a teacher of Active Dreaming there is a technique that I share with my students. It’s called incubating a dream. You’re going to be requesting a dream in answer to a question. Make sure you have a journal by the side of your bed to record any dreams that you might have. Repeat a question – either in your mind, or written on a piece of paper that you can put under your pillow. Your question should be about a challenge, dilemma, or simply an inquiry, such as “What direction should I go?” “Should I take that job?” Be open to the fact that you will have a dream that is a direct answer to your question. It might not happen the first night, but repeat the process every night for a few nights, and make sure that you record any dreams as soon as you awaken.
Be willing to reinvent yourself: As someone who has been an entrepreneur for almost 40 years, I have faced numerous times where it has been necessary for me to reinvent myself. It wasn’t always easy, and there were times where the path seemed to be winding so much that I wasn’t sure I was going to end up someplace where I wanted to be. But I continued on, because I wasn’t willing to stay stuck and over time, with faith in myself and determination to succeed the results were worth it. But reinvention requires that you have to be willing to let something go in order for the new to arise, and this can be the most difficult part. If you find that you are needing to reinvent yourself and you need to leave something behind in order to accomplish that, then make sure you allow yourself time to grieve what has been lost. Then you will be more prepared to take a leap of faith into your new future.
So, if your life feels like you are riding a roller coaster in the dark, remember to take a deep breath, relax and enjoy the ride. And if you would like some assistance in learning how to ride the roller coaster of your life please reach out and see how coaching can assist you on this journey.
